SDTW Shurt Feelings #9

Let's do this...

It works like so:

Pick a shirt and describe how amazing it is.

Jacque Cousteau? Jacque fucking Cousteau homie? I think we should just proceed to the next shirt before everyone starts having an anger induced stroke.

You can either be into gothic trap rap or sports, but you can't be into both. That's a rule, right? I think it's a rule.

Here's the deal with Basquiat. People try and over think the shit, but I'll break it down for you right here. If you like injecting HIV positive syringes of heroin into your dick vein THEN you'll probably think Basquiat is tight.

Always watch your back, because you never know if a light skinnded bearded hipster is behind you trying to sad face you to death with his scary talky t-shirt.

There is nothing overtly terrible about this shirt, but this dude is just asking for it. The mother fucker looks like a Brayden. Does that face not scream "my name is Brayden and I almost got arrested for wheat pasting this one time?"

SDTW Shurt Feelings #8

In an effort to appease the SDTW audience here is a new Shurt Feelings for your reading pleasure. It's simple really.

Find a shirt that speaks to the soul and then describe the visual poetry that it is. Let's go...

Oh thanks guys. I didn't know it was R.T.G.T.B.N.C.T.F.N.F.R "Ruin Two Good Things By Needlessly Combining Them For No Fucking Reason" day. I forgot to mark it on my calendar.

Golden State Heavy weights eh? Heavy and Weight <-----these are the words I want you to read over a few times and then get back to me.

Oh word? And what industry exactly is it that we are "anti"? Clothing industry? Type Setting industry?

Checking to see if your pussy is still there is a everyday thang. Excuse me you had it right "an everyday thang" since I forgot the "an" because everyday begins with a vowel. We won't go into the whole "thing" and "thang" issue.

I feel like this type of shirt makes the Shurt Feelings every time. I just can't really understand the whole "hearting" or in this case "weeding"? things. Why is this a thing? You weed kush? Great. Just great.

Why not say something with more shock value like "College Was Not A Viable Option For Me Because I Got Expelled From High School For Selling My Aunt's Oxy Pills And Now I DJ Weekends At A Bowling Alley"? Someone mock that up for me. Thanks.

SDTW Shurt Feelings #6

Tuck Fuesdays son.

It goes:

Pick t shirt. Explain how cool it is.

Explain to me why this is a thing?

The fuck is wrong with your brain. Let me get this straight so this graphic is a hot chick in sunglasses who is in a strip club (indoors with sunglasses on mind you) staring at some other loser chick stripping and you're watching her watch the stripper? Am I missing something? Oh and b tee dubs, cute v-neck bro! You totally don't look like you're in heavy rape mode or anything.

I debated with myself on picking this one because for it to work you have to admit that you know what Mac Miller is. I in fact, know what it is. Congrats guys, you've made me want to kill myself now.

This shirt is fucking sickey sickersons. It's like a Slayer tee, but instead it says PLAYER. I guess that's one of the perks of being an assistant manager at Hot Topic. You get first dibs on anything that is awesome and will help you get a crazy unsatisfactory hand job from the new girl cause you told her you could buy her and her high school friends 4Lokos after you get off your shift.

Did you not read your own shirt? Everybody eats! That means eat you too, plehbwoy. It says you, yes you, are allowed to eat. Go get a sandwich b. Treat yourself to something other than Coke Zero for once. You have the shirt's blessing.

This is not a phrase.

For more amazing graphic tees go to KARMALOOP

SDTW Shurt Feelings #5

I have 10 minutes before I leave to work. We'll see if this works.

Pick a shirt. Discuss its graphical merits.

Let's go.

Oh word? Columbus was lost. Well let's see if history is as kind to you. If a few hundreds years passes and we start celebrating "Stupid Looking Asian Guy Wearing Glasses" Day. If that happens. I will publicly apologize.

You know what's "cray" homie? Trying to front like you're hard when you're too shook to even wear a t shirt with a swear word on it. How f*cking cray is that?

You again blood. Fuck man. What is it this time? Oh God (puts face into hands). Dawg. I repeat. Dawg. What are the Feds listening to exactly? The fapping sounds of you jerking off to Pornhub clips? Your studio apartment neighbors already have that line tapped son.

First off, how did you get Joakim Noah to model this shit during the truncated NBA season? Secondly, what in the fuck does this mean? You diamond heart haters? Well, fuck if we're just making up non sense lemme do one then.

I 8===> Pop Tarts

I know you don't always wear terrible t-shirts but when you do...wait, yeah you do. You actually, in fact, get paid to do so. Why do you got sunglasses on? You hoping we'll just think you're blind and assume your homies played a cruel joke on you by dressing you up in that stupid t-shirt? Fuck outta here.

Ahem.....Owwwlllllll bet you thought that tattoo looked a lot cooler in your head than it actually does in real life Dimitri. Now if you would, please look mysteriously to your left.

If you want any of these tees they are luckily still available at KARMALOOP